It’s been a momentous week in the Fisher household. My eldest son, Tommy, got his learners licence. He passed the online test on Wednesday night and then on Thursday, his 16th birthday, I picked him up from school at lunch time and he collected his license at the Department of Transport. He was behind the steering wheel by 1 o’clock. And it was the most terrifying experience of my life!

I so wanted to be that cool and calm parent, being encouraging and supportive but instead I spent the whole time in a state of panic, saying ‘brake….brake….BRAKE!!!!’ In my head I knew that this wasn’t the way to lead, teach or mentor but I just couldn’t seem to help myself.

Since Thursday, I’ve been thinking about why this experience was so scary for me. I think it came down to a combination of two things. Firstly, I felt a huge loss of control and secondly, I perceived there was a high risk involved.

The minute I moved over into that passenger seat, I lost control and I didn’t like it. I’ve been a lawyer for a long time, and I’ve interviewed my fair share of clients seriously injured in motor vehicle accidents. I’ve seen how it can devastate lives, so to me, getting behind the wheel of a car and driving is a high-risk activity. I was completely out of my comfort zone.

Now, this is not the first time I’ve felt like this. There have been moments in my career when I’ve been reluctant to hand over control. Because being in control feels good, right? It feels powerful. As a leader, you want to keep your hands firmly on the wheel at all times. It can be really tough to hand your keys over to someone else. This is particularly the case when there is a high risk involved, maybe a project with your most important client or a big sales pitch.

I was speaking to a client last week who is one of the owners of a professional services firm. He was discussing with me his role in the firm and his strong personal connection with his clients. He personally attends all the sales meetings with these clients. However, he now faces a dilemma. The business is growing with plans to expand interstate and it’s not going to be possible for him to do all of this work himself. It’s time for him to give up some control over this process and provide an opportunity for someone in the firm to step up.

In leadership (just like in parenthood), sometimes you have to step aside and give up control. Terrifying? Yes but absolutely necessary if you want to grow the skills and experience of your people. So, how can you do this successfully? How can you sit in the passenger seat without being in a constant state of panic?

• Firstly, it’s important that you have confidence in the person you’re handing over control to. There must be a certain level of trust in their capability. This is why it’s so important to start developing your people’s leadership skills from the very start of their career. There is no point in waiting until someone is appointed in a formal leadership position and then starting their training and mentoring.

• Secondly, you can employ the “dual control” technique. This is just like being in a driving instructor’s car where the instructor has a brake and accelerator on their side as well. What is your leadership succession plan? Who are the up and coming leaders in your organisation? Start handing over the keys to them now to drive around the block with you by their side. You’ve got the brake right there if you need it. Take them to that big client meeting, let them present to the board, allow them to facilitate a segment at the next strategy day.

Your role as a leader is to give people a sense of responsibility and you can’t do this if you are the one always driving.

How is anyone else going to learn and grow? And how are you going to be able to move onto another position, when there is no one who can do what you do in the organisation? It’s time to lead by giving up control.

(And please wish me luck with my son Tommy in the driver’s seat!)

Midja x

I was reminded recently of a leadership lesson that I learnt early in my career. In my first year as an articled clerk in a law firm, I interviewed my fair share of new clients. I would meet with a new client, take their initial statement and explain the legal process to them. I remember that first year was a real eye-opener for me, interviewing lots of people with very different beliefs, upbringings and values to myself.

This one particular morning I had interviewed a client, a woman in her forties and after the meeting I went into the tearoom to have a coffee and chat with my colleagues. I was relatively new to the firm and if I’m honest, I was keen to fit in, to be liked and to make people laugh. I started regaling the story about this client in a way that, I’m ashamed to admit, was nasty and judgemental. I was trying to gain popularity at the expense of my client.

I remember as I was finishing the story, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, and there was my leader, a partner of the firm. He said, “Midja, I’d like you to remember one thing. Every time you talk about a client, I want you to imagine that the client is standing right here beside you, where I am standing right now. I want you to imagine that everything you say will be heard by that client.” I went bright red. I was so embarrassed. I felt terrible about what I had said, but it was a lesson that has always stuck with me and one I needed to learn.

Of course, this lesson is not just applicable to our clients, it’s about our team members, our friends, our family, our kids. Every time you talk about someone, imagine that they are standing right there beside you and can hear everything you say. This doesn’t mean that you can’t be constructively critical or hide the truth, but it does mean that you might choose your words more carefully.

Dr Stephen R Covey, in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, discusses the concept of being loyal to the absent. I believe it’s a powerful leadership trait and one that has a significant impact on your brand and reputation.

If you’re not loyal to the absent, then what are you saying to the people that you are actually talking to? You’re saying that the minute their back is turned, that you could talk about them in exactly the same way. It leads to disharmony in the team and doubt in you as a leader. Your people will be sceptical of what you say and suspicious of your actions. Not the best foundation for a productive, engaged and high performing team.

When you talk negatively about others behind their back, there is always the risk that what you’ve said will get back to the person. You know what it’s like and how quickly conversations travel in organisations. There’s always Chinese Whispers being played. You can say one thing in a certain context, and then by the time it gets back to the person you’re talking about, it’s 10 times worse. Try explaining that in your leadership role.

Now, I’m not saying that sometimes you don’t need to let off steam, maybe have a rant once in a while. I get it. Just be very careful about what you say and who you say it to.

I recommend that you have your “person” who you can talk to about anything and everything. Someone who has earnt this position in your life. Maybe a colleague, a friend, a mentor, someone that you can talk to off the record and someone who can also possibly give you the space you need to see the situation differently. The bottom line is of course that if you’re in disagreement with someone or if there is something you want to raise, then talk to the person involved, not everyone else.

As a leader, practicing loyalty to your team – both those who are present and those who are absent, will:

– create security. Your people will feel at ease and you will have a safe environment where people can be themselves and they don’t have to second-guess what is being said about them.

– build a strong connection. You will form strong authentic relationships with the people you are leading.

– gain respect. Your loyalty will show people who you are as a leader. What you stand for. It’s an admirable quality.

– grow your sense of pride in yourself. You will have a clear conscious.

Ultimately all of these outcomes will result in TRUST. Trust in you as a leader which will allow you to positively influence others.

As a leader, your words and your actions are always being closely scrutinised. It comes with the gig. You set the unwritten ground rules. When you give loyalty, you’ll get it back in return and it will become a fundamental part of your team culture.

Midja x

Last week I went to my first ever ‘Pub Choir’ in Brisbane and it was such a great night. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Pub Choir before but if not, I highly recommend it.

So, what is it? It’s an event where a few hundred people, who don’t know each other, come together in a pub for 90 minutes and perform a song in three part harmony. On Wednesday night, we sang the classic 1980’s song “Everybody Wants To Rule The World” by English band Tears for Fears and it was such a fabulous experience I’ve already booked my ticket for the next event. (I’ll put the link in the comments below if you want to check it out).

As I was standing there in the pub, I was thinking about this pub choir and its connection with leadership. When you bring people together like this, it’s a wonderful example of collaboration and synergy. A group of people who are wanting to connect with one another, who have something in common and want to be a part of something bigger than themselves.

Our leader was the amazing and highly talented, Astrid Jorgen. She stood up on the stage giving us direction, showing us the way and making us laugh. She had a clear sense of direction and was focussed on the task at hand and I think you’ll agree the result was pretty amazing.

There was one particular part of the night during rehearsals that really struck a chord with me. Astrid was breaking down the song for us and singing a section and then asking us to repeat it back to her. There was one particular set of notes that she would sing and when she’d ask us to sing it back to her, we would sing a different note on the end. She tried again but we did the same thing. We wanted to sing our own notes. Our leader, Astrid, didn’t know what was going on but in the end she said with a laugh “ok, whatever. You guys just do what you want there.”

As a leader, sometimes you want to control every single note. You have a clear direction and clear steps on how to get there. You feel as if your way is the ‘right’ way or the ‘only’ way. However, there are times when you have to surrender control. You have to allow your people to sing their own notes loudly and proudly.

Seth Godin said in his book Tribes, “The art of leadership is understanding what you can’t compromise on.” And of course this means you also have to know what things you can compromise on. The things that won’t impact on the quality of the result.

If you allow your people to sometimes sing their own notes, you’ll get buy in from them and commitment. They’ll feel empowered and take ownership. If you control every single note, they’ll feel frustrated and feel as though they don’t have a voice at all. It’s your song, not theirs.

So, in your leadership role, how are you conducting your pub choir?
Are your people singing in harmony?
Are you creating something magical together?
Are you giving your people the opportunity to sing their own notes?

Midja x

Last week I heard someone talk about leadership and they raised something that I’ve heard before and it’s this, “As a leader, it’s not your job to be liked.” Hmmm….

I disagree. I actually believe that likeability is one of the most important traits of leadership. If I don’t like you, then quite simply I’m not going to commit to you. I’m not going to give you my best work.

I don’t know about you but I’ve had lots of leaders in my career and the more I’ve genuinely liked a leader, the harder I’ve worked for them.

Now, when I talk about being liked as a leader, I don’t mean that people need to agree with everything you say or be happy with every decision you make. Being liked also doesn’t mean that your team members want to hang out with you at the pub on a Friday night. Being liked means that they admire you, respect you and enjoy having you as their leader. Simple as that.

So as a leader, how do you become more likable?

BE REAL. Show your true authentic self. No one likes a fake. Be honest and open. Your people can’t like you if they don’t know you. Be vulnerable and share your personal story. People gravitate towards those who are genuine. Allow your people to relax around you and give them permission to be themselves.

BE HUMBLE. Use your leadership position to serve others. Make it less about you and more about them. Leave the ego at the door.

BE POSITIVE. Show optimism. Project confidence in the future of the organisation and in your team members and what they can achieve. Show them the way forward. Smile and people will start smiling back.

BE PRESENT. Stop the busyness. Make people feel valued. Put away your phone. Make the time for meaningful one to one conversations. Make people feel important and valued. Have a genuine desire to understand others. Be there for them.

If I like you as a leader, then I feel connected to you. If I connect with you, then I start to build trust with you. Once we have trust, then I’ll follow you and perform at my absolute best.

Leadership is not a popularity contest. You don’t have to be the coolest kid on the block but you do have to be LIKED!

Midja x